judge not and you won't be judge

Of late, I was puzzled. Is there no place for the outcast in our seemly unforgiving society? God knows, we all serve time, be it in prison or the confinement of your room (due to remorse or repent), shouldn't all be given equal chance to start anew.

Unfortunately the system does not allow ex-convicts for full integration into society. Despite the yellow ribbon project, many due to prejudices, have not found their way back to normality.

This is truly disheartening.

I know of many evil doers who have yet to be exposed, they know how to maneuver their way around. As cunning as they seem, I have also seen how karma working its way back at them be it today or the next 20 years.

Hence my heart goes out to those who deserve a second chance in life but have yet to be given one. If only I have the power to make them see what I see, but they don't normally do... and for that, they will only have themselves to blame when they too faced with similar or worst setbacks in life.

An entry about Royce, Des's laksa, Chris & Fann

Its been a while since I logged my last entry, I hope you guys didn't miss me much :P Anyway, last week was a bitter sweet experience for me. On Friday, Royce took a 2am flight to Doha for his 6 months training before becoming a full pledge 'trolley dolly' for the next 2 years on Qatar Airways. So there we were, 10 of us waiting for her majesty, at Coffee Club in Terminal 3, he had to say his goodbyes to his family before joining us.

But it was more like a small gathering for the rest of us. Ha. Another pleasant surprise was Louis turning up to receive his partner, Patrick, arriving from Beijing at the same terminal. And yes, I finally get to see his much-talked-about Cartier ring up-close given by his truly. Ah, love does comes with its perks. :P

Oh, back to Royce! I knew him when he was at a tender age of 17 (now 27). But of late, we have gotten real close. I know one to one contact (platonic) is a prerequisite of any friendship, it goes to show, our friendship survive through the test of time. As he went in, he looked back 5 times to wave and I think I was the only one waving back because the rest were talking among themselves.

Royce and Gavin

Gavin said that he was close to tears when he went in, ah only an ex would noticed details. As I read his last phone text, that I'll be missed, my reply was - you too will be missed my friend, my buddy and confidant!

On a happier note, beside feasting on Des's laksa, I get to meet Christopher Lee and Fann Wong up-close and personal when they visited the showroom last Thursday! Of course I contained my excitement when I greeted them. During that half hour of interaction, I was impressed with their humility and their spoken English. They were going on their well deserved holiday the following day at a place I can't really reveal. Ha. Here's wishing them the very best life have to offer as they journey into their next chapter of life as husband and wife.

Truth VS Hearsay

A grandfather was talking to his grandson about how he felt. He said: "I feel as if I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf is full of selfishness, anger and criticism. The other wolf is full of compassion, kindness and love." The grandson asked, "Which wolf will win this fight in your heart?" The grandfather answered, "The one that I feed." - Col J. Z. Goldstein

As we know, gossips is the oldest and most common means of sharing unproven facts and views on personal lives of others that I never really care much about...

But it is rather disheartening to see some of my closest friends being affected by the seemly favourite past time of others. People should be more responsible on what rumors they are spreading because it can badly affect the outcome of a situation.
There is a difference between an opinion and telling an untruth.

It can be difficult to know when idle gossip crosses the line and becomes far more serious, like defamation of character. The United States Codes have a definition: In short, defamation is false information which "injures" another person, and it considers three types:

You were aware that the information was untrue.

You had reason to believe that the information could be untrue,

yet you did not bother to thoroughly check.

The information was of such a broad, generalized nature that it simply could not be true.

To my dear friends who may fall victims, learn to take everything you hear with a massive grain of salt...

The Dragon by KC HO

Once upon a time, long ago and far away,
Beyond the hills and beyond the sea,
In the dark caverns of the Iron Mountain,
There lived a fearsome dragon named…. Mary Lee.

Her mother had longed for a pretty girl
Because she was sick of oafish brothers –
But when Mary Lee hatched she said,
‘I’m hungry!’ and promptly ate her mother.

Finishing Mommy, she set upon her Dad.
While her siblings beat a hasty retreat.
But soon she found more toothsome fare –
And that was the taste of human meat.

Spreading her leathery wings she roamed,
Bringing devastation upon city and town.
Terrified villagers ran, but to no avail –
She swooped and snatched them off the ground.

Chomp! Chomp! She swallowed them with relish.
The tough dry meat of the elders she would scorn;
Far better was the flesh of youths and maidens –
Best of all was the dainty meat of the newly-born.

In panic the king sent fighters and heroes,
Demanding they return with her head.
But against such threats the dragon did not fear -
For she can assume human form instead.

So when a hero entered her cave, he would see,
Instead of a fearsome dragon with bloody crests,
A fair maiden, young and nubile -
With ruby lips and swelling breasts.

‘I’m the dragon’s slave!’ She would weep.
‘Are you the hero who will set me free?’
‘Yes!” the hero would reply with a manly strut -
‘The man who kills the dragon will be me!’

‘I’ll tell you the dragon’s secret.’ She would whisper
‘And thus you shall perform your mighty feat.
‘But not now, for the dragon’s gone -
‘So come inside and rest your weary feet.’

Luscious fruits she would bring to him,
Along with fine wine, to addle his head;
And singing to him softly with her harp,
She would entice him to her flowery bed.

As the hero lay in a stupor, sated and spent,
She would gently caress his sweaty brows;
But reverting to form with terrifying speed -
She would bite off his head with gleeful howls.

Years passed, and the people had fled
The cities were now empty halls and galleries.
For the heroes sent to cut off her head
Had all been converted into instant calories.

But one day came the most stalwart hero of all
His eyes were bright and his arms were strong.
A mighty sword did he bear, and dagger too
His gait was steady and his stride was long.

This new hero came walking up the hill
And a merry tune did this brave man hum.
But when the dragon saw him from her cave
Her one and only thought was ‘yum!’

Turning into a lovely maiden she greeted him,
And eagerly did she lure him to his fate.
For to tell the truth, she was very hungry –
The picking had been rather slim of late.

‘My hero!’ She murmured in his ears.
Of course her lies were smooth and glib.
But suddenly she cried out in pain –
The hero had stabbed her between the ribs.

With a hideous screech, she reverted to form,
Her disguise having fallen apart;
But claws and teeth were no avail now -
She had been stabbed right through the heart.

‘What went wrong? Was I not beautiful?’
In her death throes did the dragon say.
‘You sure were pretty,’ the hero replied -
‘But you see, this hero is …. gay.’

Am I happy?

Is it time to meet death in the eye?

Since nothing is forever... it is only natural for some people to want to end their lives prematurely... some may think killing oneself is silly or cowardly, but I beg to differ. Those who have decided to end their lives must have been very desperate to even thought of it in the first place. It is not a sign of weakness but rather out of despair and hopelessness. They deserve our care, patience and love, not criticism.

In case I am plagued with this dilemma,
my requests would be:

cremation

memorial service to be held at Butter
(since my gay & straight friends love to butter)
or Post Bar

everyone gets to drink a shot of butterscotch & a glass of bubbly

Kevin Yeoh & Kenneth Gilberto to sing a duet of their choice

Claire Chiang to deliver the eulogy
(because she knew my passion)

At the memorial service, nobody is allowed to cry because I would want this moment to be a celebration of your own victory over life itself, not over mine because I may have lost my fight to live as I can't seem to add value to myself and the people around me... and yes, I am not afraid of death...

............

I was not only thrown out from my ex's house due to a bad scruffer (cried like a big baby), and with a friend's recent unsettling behavior which added salt to my wounds which goes to show time does reveal a person's cruel intention. Indeed a player might be among our midst, he is obviously unaware of my true background. Since I am almost positively certain nobody bothers to read my blog (which its good)... I just hope its not too late to show my true friends how much I appreciate their many years of friendship and love...

We learn by example and by direct experience because there are real limits to the adequacy of verbal instruction.

Malcolm Gladwell