Memory & let downs

Due to the hippocampus located in the medial temporal lobe of our brain (responsible for long-term memory), we all have our fair share of memories, be it good or bad.

As David Gerrold rightly puts it, 'I have memories - but only a fool stores his past in the future.' But isn't memory a way of holding onto the things you love and not necessary the past? Or perhaps a quote taken from the book 'Chicken Soup for the Soul' suggests that an experience is not an experience until you learned from it,

I am a die-hard sentimentalist (thank you very much) which probably explains why my one & only ex and his bf have become two of my best friends.

Recently, I was let-down in two separate incidents that involve memories that I thought were worth keeping... as much as I am disappointed with the intended parties involved, I was truly hurt too. When someone chooses love over friendship, by all accounts, the unwritten rule is a friend would understand. But if words were said in view to disregard and belittle a friend's worth, or worst, deception, I'll say karma to you 'kind' sir...

On a brighter note, there is one memory of a recent past that did put a smile on my face as I lay in bed at night, and to this keeper, I would like to say - thank you for the memory.

judge not and you won't be judge

Of late, I was puzzled. Is there no place for the outcast in our seemly unforgiving society? God knows, we all serve time, be it in prison or the confinement of your room (due to remorse or repent), shouldn't all be given equal chance to start anew.

Unfortunately the system does not allow ex-convicts for full integration into society. Despite the yellow ribbon project, many due to prejudices, have not found their way back to normality.

This is truly disheartening.

I know of many evil doers who have yet to be exposed, they know how to maneuver their way around. As cunning as they seem, I have also seen how karma working its way back at them be it today or the next 20 years.

Hence my heart goes out to those who deserve a second chance in life but have yet to be given one. If only I have the power to make them see what I see, but they don't normally do... and for that, they will only have themselves to blame when they too faced with similar or worst setbacks in life.

An entry about Royce, Des's laksa, Chris & Fann

Its been a while since I logged my last entry, I hope you guys didn't miss me much :P Anyway, last week was a bitter sweet experience for me. On Friday, Royce took a 2am flight to Doha for his 6 months training before becoming a full pledge 'trolley dolly' for the next 2 years on Qatar Airways. So there we were, 10 of us waiting for her majesty, at Coffee Club in Terminal 3, he had to say his goodbyes to his family before joining us.

But it was more like a small gathering for the rest of us. Ha. Another pleasant surprise was Louis turning up to receive his partner, Patrick, arriving from Beijing at the same terminal. And yes, I finally get to see his much-talked-about Cartier ring up-close given by his truly. Ah, love does comes with its perks. :P

Oh, back to Royce! I knew him when he was at a tender age of 17 (now 27). But of late, we have gotten real close. I know one to one contact (platonic) is a prerequisite of any friendship, it goes to show, our friendship survive through the test of time. As he went in, he looked back 5 times to wave and I think I was the only one waving back because the rest were talking among themselves.

Royce and Gavin

Gavin said that he was close to tears when he went in, ah only an ex would noticed details. As I read his last phone text, that I'll be missed, my reply was - you too will be missed my friend, my buddy and confidant!

On a happier note, beside feasting on Des's laksa, I get to meet Christopher Lee and Fann Wong up-close and personal when they visited the showroom last Thursday! Of course I contained my excitement when I greeted them. During that half hour of interaction, I was impressed with their humility and their spoken English. They were going on their well deserved holiday the following day at a place I can't really reveal. Ha. Here's wishing them the very best life have to offer as they journey into their next chapter of life as husband and wife.

Truth VS Hearsay

A grandfather was talking to his grandson about how he felt. He said: "I feel as if I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf is full of selfishness, anger and criticism. The other wolf is full of compassion, kindness and love." The grandson asked, "Which wolf will win this fight in your heart?" The grandfather answered, "The one that I feed." - Col J. Z. Goldstein

As we know, gossips is the oldest and most common means of sharing unproven facts and views on personal lives of others that I never really care much about...

But it is rather disheartening to see some of my closest friends being affected by the seemly favourite past time of others. People should be more responsible on what rumors they are spreading because it can badly affect the outcome of a situation.
There is a difference between an opinion and telling an untruth.

It can be difficult to know when idle gossip crosses the line and becomes far more serious, like defamation of character. The United States Codes have a definition: In short, defamation is false information which "injures" another person, and it considers three types:

You were aware that the information was untrue.

You had reason to believe that the information could be untrue,

yet you did not bother to thoroughly check.

The information was of such a broad, generalized nature that it simply could not be true.

To my dear friends who may fall victims, learn to take everything you hear with a massive grain of salt...

The Dragon by KC HO

Once upon a time, long ago and far away,
Beyond the hills and beyond the sea,
In the dark caverns of the Iron Mountain,
There lived a fearsome dragon named…. Mary Lee.

Her mother had longed for a pretty girl
Because she was sick of oafish brothers –
But when Mary Lee hatched she said,
‘I’m hungry!’ and promptly ate her mother.

Finishing Mommy, she set upon her Dad.
While her siblings beat a hasty retreat.
But soon she found more toothsome fare –
And that was the taste of human meat.

Spreading her leathery wings she roamed,
Bringing devastation upon city and town.
Terrified villagers ran, but to no avail –
She swooped and snatched them off the ground.

Chomp! Chomp! She swallowed them with relish.
The tough dry meat of the elders she would scorn;
Far better was the flesh of youths and maidens –
Best of all was the dainty meat of the newly-born.

In panic the king sent fighters and heroes,
Demanding they return with her head.
But against such threats the dragon did not fear -
For she can assume human form instead.

So when a hero entered her cave, he would see,
Instead of a fearsome dragon with bloody crests,
A fair maiden, young and nubile -
With ruby lips and swelling breasts.

‘I’m the dragon’s slave!’ She would weep.
‘Are you the hero who will set me free?’
‘Yes!” the hero would reply with a manly strut -
‘The man who kills the dragon will be me!’

‘I’ll tell you the dragon’s secret.’ She would whisper
‘And thus you shall perform your mighty feat.
‘But not now, for the dragon’s gone -
‘So come inside and rest your weary feet.’

Luscious fruits she would bring to him,
Along with fine wine, to addle his head;
And singing to him softly with her harp,
She would entice him to her flowery bed.

As the hero lay in a stupor, sated and spent,
She would gently caress his sweaty brows;
But reverting to form with terrifying speed -
She would bite off his head with gleeful howls.

Years passed, and the people had fled
The cities were now empty halls and galleries.
For the heroes sent to cut off her head
Had all been converted into instant calories.

But one day came the most stalwart hero of all
His eyes were bright and his arms were strong.
A mighty sword did he bear, and dagger too
His gait was steady and his stride was long.

This new hero came walking up the hill
And a merry tune did this brave man hum.
But when the dragon saw him from her cave
Her one and only thought was ‘yum!’

Turning into a lovely maiden she greeted him,
And eagerly did she lure him to his fate.
For to tell the truth, she was very hungry –
The picking had been rather slim of late.

‘My hero!’ She murmured in his ears.
Of course her lies were smooth and glib.
But suddenly she cried out in pain –
The hero had stabbed her between the ribs.

With a hideous screech, she reverted to form,
Her disguise having fallen apart;
But claws and teeth were no avail now -
She had been stabbed right through the heart.

‘What went wrong? Was I not beautiful?’
In her death throes did the dragon say.
‘You sure were pretty,’ the hero replied -
‘But you see, this hero is …. gay.’

Am I happy?

Is it time to meet death in the eye?

Since nothing is forever... it is only natural for some people to want to end their lives prematurely... some may think killing oneself is silly or cowardly, but I beg to differ. Those who have decided to end their lives must have been very desperate to even thought of it in the first place. It is not a sign of weakness but rather out of despair and hopelessness. They deserve our care, patience and love, not criticism.

In case I am plagued with this dilemma,
my requests would be:

cremation

memorial service to be held at Butter
(since my gay & straight friends love to butter)
or Post Bar

everyone gets to drink a shot of butterscotch & a glass of bubbly

Kevin Yeoh & Kenneth Gilberto to sing a duet of their choice

Claire Chiang to deliver the eulogy
(because she knew my passion)

At the memorial service, nobody is allowed to cry because I would want this moment to be a celebration of your own victory over life itself, not over mine because I may have lost my fight to live as I can't seem to add value to myself and the people around me... and yes, I am not afraid of death...

............

I was not only thrown out from my ex's house due to a bad scruffer (cried like a big baby), and with a friend's recent unsettling behavior which added salt to my wounds which goes to show time does reveal a person's cruel intention. Indeed a player might be among our midst, he is obviously unaware of my true background. Since I am almost positively certain nobody bothers to read my blog (which its good)... I just hope its not too late to show my true friends how much I appreciate their many years of friendship and love...

We learn by example and by direct experience because there are real limits to the adequacy of verbal instruction.

Malcolm Gladwell

OTOT

Two Sundays ago, we were at a play - Own Time Own Target, second successful run by Wild Rice at Drama Centre, National Library. Des's lucky guess as he pointed out my dear friend, Terry, when his role as a female journalist, came on stage, pretty one too. The second half was more upbeat and comic timing of all the cast was impeccable. My heart went out for Terry when he belted out a number as his character being a new recruit misses home and his one true love in UK.


But the real star of the show was actually my buddy, Des, when the director requested to take a picture with him. This is probably the first time a member of an ensemble wants to take picture with a member of the audience (below)! Well, at least I get to take the picture at the request of the director.

Sunday

After my usual gym workout, my other BFF Royce, rang me to change the venue from Vivo cinema to Sentosa since the sun was pretty good that day. As I wasn't properly attired for the beach, I was contented with Royce's berms and his tight workout red tank top. Gavin suggested I should take it off, er, not when my body is not as buff as his and a bunch of gay boys playing volleyball. But what really striked me was to see a community of gays, lesbrians, straight, grannies, tattoo ah bengs, kids of different races and dogs sharing the same beach soaking under the same sun.

A perfect backdrop for a perfect day!

If only you knew

An entry just for you ...

Though its been only a week since we last met, it felt like months... words cannot expressed my thoughts when I saw you just now, I appreciate your kind words and honesty. I know you are a faithful reader and would check my blog every day. I am aware you would leave comments, it was you all along... I know... you will always be in my thoughts and prayers. =) See you soon ya... HUGS

Halo

© B-DAY PUBLISHING; EMI APRIL MUSIC INC.

ANGELS & DEMONS

I know most of us do not really believe in angels and demons, but you got to be with me on this - whenever there is goodness there is evil...

We tend to take evil for granted because most of us are neither good or evil. That's how evil works, it would creep up unknowingly and we would find excuses to justify our wayward actions. However, I do know once the heart is evil, that's it.

I am no angel too, but I also know that if I don't keep a code of conduct, I could easily be swept away, and I won't have anymore excuses to give when I meet GOD one day (reminisces of the movie 'Drag me to Hell' playing on my mind now)

Remember? Karma?

Of late...

Of late, I got to know some news that came as a surprise to me... there I was buttering with friends and acquaintances, when a good friend revealed to me how he felt towards another good friend of mine. Initially I didnt know how to react, I mean, I was asking myself how would I use this information positively.

Its always encouraging to see potential love among friends, I mean, the circle is kinda small... everyone will eventually date everyone else... ok maybe most of us would rather stay as friends... but look at Chandler and Monica from the sitcom FRIENDS. They started off as friends until I guess the writers just didn't know what do with their characters. But I know of some real life examples, like Lisa and Desmond; Pauline (my client) and her husband; Paul (another client) and Joseph who been together for the past 8 years; my colleague and his bf who knew each other as friends for one year before being attached for three years... and counting...

Another successful (but kinda rare) example, was last Sat night, when I was belting out 'How deep is your Love' with Kenneth (boy, this gal can sing!) at a karaoke joint, when another old friend of mine (and hot still) A, told me he recently got attached to another friend of mine B, who is attached to another friend C... so there I was scratching my head with both hands because I know this friend of mine B who is attached to this other friend C went on for over a decade, but I realised it was NOT a three way. Now this old friend of mine A is attached with him B for the past 6 months, and the best part was that all three of them, A,B & C, got along very well.

Anyways, the point I'm making is that life is as unpredicable as what tomorrow has in store for us... so never say never folks!

And oh, like what singer Taylor Swift said to Ellen on her show was - one day I will find someone right for me... and she is only 18?

FAQs

I have compiled a list of FAQs:

Are you single?
YES

Are you a scholar?
HAHA...

Where do you work?
Space Furniture, an Australian based company, and they have big expansion plans in Asia...

hmm...

What brings you joy?
When I paired people up... I had one successful story that lasted for 5 years...

What about you?
I'm more successful in friendship, but never say never...

What you hate most in people?
Well I don't hate people, just their behavior - I dislike people who say one thing and do another... and misers too, if only there is a chip inplant in the brain that alters behavior, ah the wonders of clinical trials...

Have your heart being broken?
Of course! but I have also broken a few hearts too... but I'm a believer of karma... what goes around comes around... so i deserve it loh...

Are you in love now?

Hmmm

My new BFF

Move over Paris, meet my new BFF (iruffkookydough) ! Beside my discipline master back in SJI days, he is the most misunderstood and unappreciated (appreciate for all the wrong reasons) person I have ever known. He is admired by many, put down by most & adored by few... Make no mistake as he makes no apologies.

His parents brought him up well enough to cultivate a heart of gold. I should know because I saw it with my own eyes... He is no doubt one of a kind. Ok, where are my reading glasses?

E

He came across the border to seek that one shot at happiness, as challenging it may seems at times, there are no short cuts. Be it love, career or friendship, PAIN must be felt along the way but only to make him stronger at each turning point. He may be missing his close friends and family back home, but he should also know they are only a heartbeat away.

If he embraced his future today, it will be boundless. As long as his heart is at the right place, that chance at happiness as he would rightly puts it - is within his palm, and only Heaven knows, he has made the right choice.

Kissing

The last event at Space Furniture

Friends have been asking me when is gonna be the next big event from Space... Honestly, I have no idea... The last was the launch of the Canasta Outdoor Collection by designer Patricia Urquiola for B&B Italia on 21st Aug 2008. And here are some highlights of the evening attended by friends...

Lisa Koh (supporter from Bombay Sapphire), Anuar and Nic

Chris (ever faithful client), Elaine (my hyper manager) & Daisy

Sigrid (my Belgium friend) just breezed across when my picture was taken! Check out the cleavage though...


Des, Ed, Lisa, Sebby, Elton and Ethan (my entourage)

Penny, Elton, Anderson, Weng, Thad, Lisa and Ethan (more entourage)

Lisa and Ed filming their first adult R rated film entitled - 'Doing it for the first time'

We were the 'test' audience at their screening...

Here were the props and backdrop

My Space Gang with GM in the middle

This song is for you ...

I must have been so stupid
I must have been so out of touch
He must have been so clever
Convincing me that this was really love

Desperate for words
Lost in a maze
It fell apart
I lost my place
It hurts so bad
I cried for days
Time healed all pain
Now I’m ok

How many times can my heart break
Disillusioned by the thought of flawless love
Will I ever get there
Or am I drowning in quicksand
With no relief to come

I’ll rise from all my sorrow
Let the sun shine on my face
All alone in comfort
Its my solitude I will embrace

I will rise from my sorrow…

The Climb

This is one of those songs I can most identified with...

Will you remember my name?

True Colors

How long does it takes a person's true colors to surface? 3 months? 1 year? or does it takes a bad situation to reveal a person's inner self or is there a commonality in pattern of behavior through a period of time in similar circumstances...

Be it clouded or not, I still feel true colors can be nasty and beautiful at the same time... but the video (below) by Cyndi Lauper which I like to share and encourage your true colors (you know who you are =) to shine through...

Meet the newly arrival of Lyla & Lander Shaver

Everyone in Singapore, including Zurk and Lisa, would like to wish Ong Lin and Lenny for their double bundle of joy, wish I could be there to share your joy in SF. You finally did it Lin !

I am so happy for you guys ! =)

Sat evening with dear friends

Des, me, KC, Zul & Zurk

Whenever KC (the one looking bored in the middle with big reading glasses) is in town, I would spring into action gathering some of our closest friends for dinner at his mother's place at Leedon Park. The Thai maid is capable of whipping up delicious simple meal and whatever diet plans I would have, goes right out of the window. I mean who can resist a good meal (next time I'll take pictures as evidence, I was late you see)

I have known KC for a good many years, I was tasked by his elder brother, KP, to increase his social network. So there I was, scanning through my hippocampus, suitable candidates that would click with a man who has an IQ of 180, speaks fluent English and Mandarin, the brain child behind all the architectural design for the Banyan Tree spa & resorts that boast an impressive list of awards (and not to mention the famous Vertigo restaurant at the rooftop of Banyan Tree hotel in Bangkok), extremely knowledgeable, has a heart of gold and reads books in the toilet for leisure. Hmm...

Well, Zurk and Zul are both from the education industry, so is David (the one who took the picture, he was camera shy) so they all got along just fine = ) and I proud of Des (his first time at Ho's residence) who was able to keep up at the dinner table. But the star of the evening was really KC's charming and articulate 83 year old mother. You can literally talk to her just about anything under the sun (including the birds and the bees) and being a shanghainese, she too speaks fluent mandarin. Yup yup, now I know where her sons get their charm from... ^^

It is during your hour of despair, you would then know who are your true friends, fortunate for me, I have friends like Zurk, Lisa, Zul, David, Billy (just to name a few) and the incredulous Ho family that stood by me when I was in the valley of darkness.

They truly fit the bill - a friend in need is a friend indeed.

Hearts a Mess

Nowhere

Like I Do

Is Love Really that Blind?

First and forth most, thank you for reading my blog, I'm still pretty new to this medium of expressing oneself. I know some friends wanted me to share my views on social issues especially on love (don't know why).

Hence the title of the day!

Case study 1

Carlie (not her real name) suffered a 12 years marriage before she wanted out. In that decade, she buried her unborn 8 months old baby and endured constant verbal/psychological abuse (its as bad as physical battery to me) from her then husband that derailed her mentally, emotionally and hence physically. And the only reason she tolerated all those years? She loved him.

Case study 2

Back in the early 70s, May (not her real name) met the love of her life in university days. Despite strong objection from her parents, they continued dating till they tied the knot. She was ridiculed by her parents and relatives because he was of a different race. The reason she took that risk at marriage? She loves him.

As a wise friend (you know who you are ;P) would say to me - happiness is by choice and that was what Carlie did. She even paid for the divorce lawyer's fee and now she is at the happiest stage of her life (and still looking hot!) In the case of May, love did blind her but from racism and color. She has gone beyond the surface to truly see a person's heart that bonded her with love that lasted till today (and two grown boys!)

So is love really that blind? My answer would be Yes

As complex as any relationship can be,
only you can make it simple.

When the darkness comes, keep an eye on the light,
whatever is for you, no matter how far away it seems...

- Ian Berry

To Be Free
To Be Wild
And To Be
Just Like A Child
And If I Get Lost
I Really Don't Mind
Cos' I'm Me (Free)
Doing Just Fine
(To Be Free)

Give Your Light

Now I must Remember

Water Feels warm

SUNDAY

I finally got the chance to see 'Drag Me to Hell', though Des suggested midnight to feel the full 'effects' of horror (and no I did not see it with him), I chose on a bright sunny afternoon.

After which we had coffee and cake at Dome at Park Mall, and that was when I discovered I lost my Citibank SMRT and UOB NOW debit cards! URGH! But I was not worried, I mean, cards can always be replaced but the pleasure of having his company today was irreplaceable.

p/s talking about mind-games, I could not believe it was played on Sat night. oh well, what goes around, will always find its way back around... stay tune to see how its played out in future entries...

An entry regarding insomenia

To Sleep

They save me,
or passed day will shine
Upon my pillow
breeding many woes
Save me from my curious conscience,
that still hoards
Its strength for darkness,
burrowing like a mole;
Turn the key deftly in the oiled wards,
And seal the hushed casket of my soul.

- Keats

"How hard will tomorrow be, if I don't sleep tonight?"

Ah Ken

Kenneth Gilberto

http://onemillionstar.starhub.com/vote.php

This boy can sing (I can be witness at our recent karaoke with Paul and Des) he has good control, power and range! Very impressive for a 22 yr old.

Look out for him in the finals of 星光大道5

A starlet (trying to look cute here) in the making!

People fall in and out of love everyday ... Like recently, two of my dearest friends just called it quits... and on the flip side, three of my other dearest friends found love...

Is it true what they say that you need to go through a few break-ups to find the 'one'? The fact of the matter is, love comes in a package of ups n downs, pain n joy, etc...

So my advice to those who just found love to enjoy the moment and those who have their heart broken, he/she ain't worth it anyway because the 'one' might be just be around the corner waiting or better yet, its here without you even realizing it !!!
(as long as u don't play mind games!) ...

p.s. so my Idea of Heaven, as singer Leigh Nash would have it, is my family, friends, colleagues and you ...

Better late than never :)

I know this is a little tad late, but I like to thank the following for being part of my big forty :

My colleagues at Space, Mini Vickie, Vickie, Raj, Elaine, Daisy, Sha, Yvonne, Susan, Oby, Rakean and Lienna for being my second family, and turning up at Rewind.

And for those who also turned up :

• Irene Lian for the two bottles of bubbly (I know no guys were checking you out, only because they were envious of your beauty :P)
• Minh for the bubbly too (I know Rewind wasn't your scene, so really appreciate you showing up!)
• George Leong for the bubbly and the Bvlgari cologne (amazing after 20 years you still remember my fav scent)
• Joshua Chan for the company at Zirca a week prior (really appreciate the pre-celebration n the bubbly)
• Ed Yap for hand-picking the lovely pendant with my msn 明美 engraved on it (I was touched and will cherish it forever and ever!)
  
• Terry & Kevin for planning the deadest alcohol concoction all the way to midnight! Oh thanks Ed for handling the last shot otherwise I would be too 'gone'...
• Jarell Tan and Royce Ng for the very heavy and big glass ashtray (must be from Robinson right?), and for just being there the past 10 years! Royce, thanks for arranging with Bryan at Rewind
• Sebby, thanks for turning up for just 10 mins :)
• Des the unexpected bday french **** was smokin!
• Paul Tan and Ken(pls vote for him 星光大道5) for cheering us on
  
• Mel Kok, Ivan Yong, Kelly, Alex Lee and Yu-wen for coming!
• Louis Lim and Dan Wong (love the t-shirt) for sending a drunkard home
• Nic and Steve for taking the pictures!
  
• Thanks Ed for helping out with the pics too! (wow, ur name is mentioned thrice here!)
  
• Bruce Lee, thanks for your fav drink! Now I know!
• Cindy Lim for the glass of bubbly!
• Danies and Dylan (I didn't mean to spill the jug over Dylan's lap! What an intro to your new other half... URGH... sorry...)
• Wei and Leonard Yip, Kevin Yeoh, Fird, Jan & Wilson Ng, thank you for coming :)

Louis, Wilson, Paul, Ken & Des, thanks for coming out again the following night at Zirca!

Mel Ong, thanks for the glass of bubbly at DYMK

Jess, Billy, Jaryl, Siti, Sunny DK, Cliff, Chris Yang, Khairu, Zaabah, Ian S, Norman, Mark Foo & Chelsia for your bday wishes!

Did I forget anyone?

Oh, my parents who been there for me, thank you for your prayers. KC, for your generosity and moral support for the past years, your kindness will always inspire me to pay it forward. Lee, for showing and giving me a chance at love. Elton, Serena, Lisa, June, Zul and David Yowell for your friendship and love. And Kim, you know how much I appreciate you from the moment you hook up with Lee right? "P You are best dude, I rather you anytime :)

Coffee and Chocolate Milk Shake

I spent the afternoon with a dear friend at a bistro today... If you are reading this, I want you to know that everything is going to be fine, trust me hoh?

My fav couples Pt 1

Last night, I met up with my favorite couples at a local joint, I told them about my new blog and with their consent, here they are :)

M&M

A&YW

These guys have been together for almost a year and still going strong! I have great admiration for them because not only have they found each other (ok ok and they complete each other too), but also have good friends like me hehe... Here is a little trivial for you : Do u know that one of the Ms and YW used to be together? And now they are good buddies! Just like me and Lee :P

I know its not easy find love, despite all the sorrows, pain, mis-read signs, mind games, anger and disappointment, you never ever give up on hope right?

?

Hmm ... still no followers, except a big welcome from cookiedough... Maybe my writing is bad huh? Or maybe I am not photogenic enough? DAMN THE SHALLOWNESS OF THIS WORLD!

Anyways:

Here's a picture of a recent gathering of friends I used to hang out with in my twenties... We would to do everything together, and since mahjong ain't my cuppa, I was the coffee boy making sure everyone stayed wide awake till the wee hours of the morning... Now look at them, all grown up (tears flowing)...

First time blogging

People used to keep diary to express their inner most thoughts and feelings... But thanks WWW the whole world gets to know everything about you... and I must admit, it does feel good to share yourself (in a positive way of course). So others can benefit from your own experience.

After lunch with Des, he shared his blog. I read it and here I am...

Let's see, what else can I share other than food for thoughts (scroll all the way down). Oh i just turned 40 over the weekend! Yes, I heard them all, 'age is just a number', 'you are 40? no way!', '40s is the new 30s' and 'oh we would eventually reach there' (yeah me first!)

The most meaningful gift I got was a pendant. He actually engraved my msn nick
明美 (which means bright and beautiful ha-ha-ha) on it. Boy I was touched. And the only reason I could not take a picture of it was because I lost my camera my ex gave me last year... sigh...

But it was nice to see my colleagues, old and new friends coming together to celebrate my coming of age, urgh. But I know its time to seriously think... I know I have been blessed in so many ways and my happy-go-lucky can only bring me so far. And how many more 10s to go?

I was not aware this picture was taken at Zouk, hrmph

Me and my dear colleague Mini Vickie at Ice Cold Beer

Me and Louis at Zirca, many many Sundays ago

Food for Thought

A dear friend would tell me - boy (which is me), we don't belong to one person, we belong to EVERYBODY (he was preaching polygamy I think)... Is that logical thinking? Maybe if we say 'don't put all your eggs in one basket...' so we can enjoy the best of both worlds... but don't get me wrong, we are not really talking about love. We are simply talking about common sense, but alas! If only our lives is that simple.

When we approach this topic of logical thinking, its best is not to drag our emotions in it... Why? because when it comes to matters of the heart, it rarely operate on common sense. But it is good know, when we are confused by our very own emotional turmoil, we can turn to some good logical thinking for guidance.

Here's one way:

Argumentation is not Quarreling

According to the book 'Being Logical' a guide to good thinking by D.Q. Mcinerny, argumentation is rational discourse. The object of argument is getting the truth. The object of quarreling is to get back at each other. However, if an argument gets out of control, where the truth doesn't matter anymore, it can lead to quarreling.

Let's say for the sake of argument, you would want to bring love to logical thinking. If you see a hole in front of you, for the sake of love, would you walk straight into it? That would probably explain why love is blind if you do. However, what if you chose not to walk into the hole in front of you, would you then say - oh I like you, it is because I like you, I can't be with you... If you feel this way, you may save yourself a whole lot of heartache.

The point is, the more intense our emotional state, the more difficult for us to see clearly. We have to make conscious effort to keep emotion out of argument. Though we can never be totally successful at this, we need to bear in mind that if emotions take the upper hand, clear thinking will be impossible.

Outer beauty VS Inner beauty

When I was in my 20s, I would think - heart matters most (still is by the way) but I underestimated the importance the world has placed outer beauty in our daily lives... the corporate world understood it and took full advantage of that to form a multi-billion dollar industry on cosmetic, fashion, etc... they would use models to dictate what beauty should be... and we unknowingly pressure ourselves to conform. So they would constantly make money through our insecurities... because we would question our looks, our body... etc... basically, as long as we are not happy the way we look... they will make money...

I then decided to put myself to the test, I started going to the gym... took that extra effort to look good and in three months, I was out there at clubs and boy what a difference it has made. People started to notice... not that I was hot or anything... but the point I am making, we are living in a shallow world.

I met my first love (actually my only love) in my early 30s (yes I was a late bloomer), that was after I started to look good haha... So the question was, if I had not been looking good, would I have that chance at love?

The truth of the matter is - looks are important but the heart should always be the deciding factor.

Wait ciggie break... :P

Friends VS Lovers

I feel that somehow friendship tend to be more successful than relationship. We do not need many friends in life but it is important to know who are your friends. Having said that, it is tricky when friends become lovers and lovers become friends... Can it done? I see many successful examples and you know who you are... : )

Gossips VS the Truth

Gossips is the oldest and most common means of sharing unproven facts and views on personal lives of others that I never really care much about... Though people are entitled to talk and to their opinions but sometimes, people should be more responsible on what rumors they are spreading because it can badly affect the outcome of a situation. Like the saying goes, what goes in one ear, out in many mouths... I learn that lesson the hard way...