Hearts a Mess

Nowhere

Like I Do

Is Love Really that Blind?

First and forth most, thank you for reading my blog, I'm still pretty new to this medium of expressing oneself. I know some friends wanted me to share my views on social issues especially on love (don't know why).

Hence the title of the day!

Case study 1

Carlie (not her real name) suffered a 12 years marriage before she wanted out. In that decade, she buried her unborn 8 months old baby and endured constant verbal/psychological abuse (its as bad as physical battery to me) from her then husband that derailed her mentally, emotionally and hence physically. And the only reason she tolerated all those years? She loved him.

Case study 2

Back in the early 70s, May (not her real name) met the love of her life in university days. Despite strong objection from her parents, they continued dating till they tied the knot. She was ridiculed by her parents and relatives because he was of a different race. The reason she took that risk at marriage? She loves him.

As a wise friend (you know who you are ;P) would say to me - happiness is by choice and that was what Carlie did. She even paid for the divorce lawyer's fee and now she is at the happiest stage of her life (and still looking hot!) In the case of May, love did blind her but from racism and color. She has gone beyond the surface to truly see a person's heart that bonded her with love that lasted till today (and two grown boys!)

So is love really that blind? My answer would be Yes

As complex as any relationship can be,
only you can make it simple.

When the darkness comes, keep an eye on the light,
whatever is for you, no matter how far away it seems...

- Ian Berry

To Be Free
To Be Wild
And To Be
Just Like A Child
And If I Get Lost
I Really Don't Mind
Cos' I'm Me (Free)
Doing Just Fine
(To Be Free)

Give Your Light

Now I must Remember

Water Feels warm

SUNDAY

I finally got the chance to see 'Drag Me to Hell', though Des suggested midnight to feel the full 'effects' of horror (and no I did not see it with him), I chose on a bright sunny afternoon.

After which we had coffee and cake at Dome at Park Mall, and that was when I discovered I lost my Citibank SMRT and UOB NOW debit cards! URGH! But I was not worried, I mean, cards can always be replaced but the pleasure of having his company today was irreplaceable.

p/s talking about mind-games, I could not believe it was played on Sat night. oh well, what goes around, will always find its way back around... stay tune to see how its played out in future entries...

An entry regarding insomenia

To Sleep

They save me,
or passed day will shine
Upon my pillow
breeding many woes
Save me from my curious conscience,
that still hoards
Its strength for darkness,
burrowing like a mole;
Turn the key deftly in the oiled wards,
And seal the hushed casket of my soul.

- Keats

"How hard will tomorrow be, if I don't sleep tonight?"

Ah Ken

Kenneth Gilberto

http://onemillionstar.starhub.com/vote.php

This boy can sing (I can be witness at our recent karaoke with Paul and Des) he has good control, power and range! Very impressive for a 22 yr old.

Look out for him in the finals of 星光大道5

A starlet (trying to look cute here) in the making!

People fall in and out of love everyday ... Like recently, two of my dearest friends just called it quits... and on the flip side, three of my other dearest friends found love...

Is it true what they say that you need to go through a few break-ups to find the 'one'? The fact of the matter is, love comes in a package of ups n downs, pain n joy, etc...

So my advice to those who just found love to enjoy the moment and those who have their heart broken, he/she ain't worth it anyway because the 'one' might be just be around the corner waiting or better yet, its here without you even realizing it !!!
(as long as u don't play mind games!) ...

p.s. so my Idea of Heaven, as singer Leigh Nash would have it, is my family, friends, colleagues and you ...

Better late than never :)

I know this is a little tad late, but I like to thank the following for being part of my big forty :

My colleagues at Space, Mini Vickie, Vickie, Raj, Elaine, Daisy, Sha, Yvonne, Susan, Oby, Rakean and Lienna for being my second family, and turning up at Rewind.

And for those who also turned up :

• Irene Lian for the two bottles of bubbly (I know no guys were checking you out, only because they were envious of your beauty :P)
• Minh for the bubbly too (I know Rewind wasn't your scene, so really appreciate you showing up!)
• George Leong for the bubbly and the Bvlgari cologne (amazing after 20 years you still remember my fav scent)
• Joshua Chan for the company at Zirca a week prior (really appreciate the pre-celebration n the bubbly)
• Ed Yap for hand-picking the lovely pendant with my msn 明美 engraved on it (I was touched and will cherish it forever and ever!)
  
• Terry & Kevin for planning the deadest alcohol concoction all the way to midnight! Oh thanks Ed for handling the last shot otherwise I would be too 'gone'...
• Jarell Tan and Royce Ng for the very heavy and big glass ashtray (must be from Robinson right?), and for just being there the past 10 years! Royce, thanks for arranging with Bryan at Rewind
• Sebby, thanks for turning up for just 10 mins :)
• Des the unexpected bday french **** was smokin!
• Paul Tan and Ken(pls vote for him 星光大道5) for cheering us on
  
• Mel Kok, Ivan Yong, Kelly, Alex Lee and Yu-wen for coming!
• Louis Lim and Dan Wong (love the t-shirt) for sending a drunkard home
• Nic and Steve for taking the pictures!
  
• Thanks Ed for helping out with the pics too! (wow, ur name is mentioned thrice here!)
  
• Bruce Lee, thanks for your fav drink! Now I know!
• Cindy Lim for the glass of bubbly!
• Danies and Dylan (I didn't mean to spill the jug over Dylan's lap! What an intro to your new other half... URGH... sorry...)
• Wei and Leonard Yip, Kevin Yeoh, Fird, Jan & Wilson Ng, thank you for coming :)

Louis, Wilson, Paul, Ken & Des, thanks for coming out again the following night at Zirca!

Mel Ong, thanks for the glass of bubbly at DYMK

Jess, Billy, Jaryl, Siti, Sunny DK, Cliff, Chris Yang, Khairu, Zaabah, Ian S, Norman, Mark Foo & Chelsia for your bday wishes!

Did I forget anyone?

Oh, my parents who been there for me, thank you for your prayers. KC, for your generosity and moral support for the past years, your kindness will always inspire me to pay it forward. Lee, for showing and giving me a chance at love. Elton, Serena, Lisa, June, Zul and David Yowell for your friendship and love. And Kim, you know how much I appreciate you from the moment you hook up with Lee right? "P You are best dude, I rather you anytime :)

Coffee and Chocolate Milk Shake

I spent the afternoon with a dear friend at a bistro today... If you are reading this, I want you to know that everything is going to be fine, trust me hoh?

My fav couples Pt 1

Last night, I met up with my favorite couples at a local joint, I told them about my new blog and with their consent, here they are :)

M&M

A&YW

These guys have been together for almost a year and still going strong! I have great admiration for them because not only have they found each other (ok ok and they complete each other too), but also have good friends like me hehe... Here is a little trivial for you : Do u know that one of the Ms and YW used to be together? And now they are good buddies! Just like me and Lee :P

I know its not easy find love, despite all the sorrows, pain, mis-read signs, mind games, anger and disappointment, you never ever give up on hope right?

?

Hmm ... still no followers, except a big welcome from cookiedough... Maybe my writing is bad huh? Or maybe I am not photogenic enough? DAMN THE SHALLOWNESS OF THIS WORLD!

Anyways:

Here's a picture of a recent gathering of friends I used to hang out with in my twenties... We would to do everything together, and since mahjong ain't my cuppa, I was the coffee boy making sure everyone stayed wide awake till the wee hours of the morning... Now look at them, all grown up (tears flowing)...

First time blogging

People used to keep diary to express their inner most thoughts and feelings... But thanks WWW the whole world gets to know everything about you... and I must admit, it does feel good to share yourself (in a positive way of course). So others can benefit from your own experience.

After lunch with Des, he shared his blog. I read it and here I am...

Let's see, what else can I share other than food for thoughts (scroll all the way down). Oh i just turned 40 over the weekend! Yes, I heard them all, 'age is just a number', 'you are 40? no way!', '40s is the new 30s' and 'oh we would eventually reach there' (yeah me first!)

The most meaningful gift I got was a pendant. He actually engraved my msn nick
明美 (which means bright and beautiful ha-ha-ha) on it. Boy I was touched. And the only reason I could not take a picture of it was because I lost my camera my ex gave me last year... sigh...

But it was nice to see my colleagues, old and new friends coming together to celebrate my coming of age, urgh. But I know its time to seriously think... I know I have been blessed in so many ways and my happy-go-lucky can only bring me so far. And how many more 10s to go?

I was not aware this picture was taken at Zouk, hrmph

Me and my dear colleague Mini Vickie at Ice Cold Beer

Me and Louis at Zirca, many many Sundays ago

Food for Thought

A dear friend would tell me - boy (which is me), we don't belong to one person, we belong to EVERYBODY (he was preaching polygamy I think)... Is that logical thinking? Maybe if we say 'don't put all your eggs in one basket...' so we can enjoy the best of both worlds... but don't get me wrong, we are not really talking about love. We are simply talking about common sense, but alas! If only our lives is that simple.

When we approach this topic of logical thinking, its best is not to drag our emotions in it... Why? because when it comes to matters of the heart, it rarely operate on common sense. But it is good know, when we are confused by our very own emotional turmoil, we can turn to some good logical thinking for guidance.

Here's one way:

Argumentation is not Quarreling

According to the book 'Being Logical' a guide to good thinking by D.Q. Mcinerny, argumentation is rational discourse. The object of argument is getting the truth. The object of quarreling is to get back at each other. However, if an argument gets out of control, where the truth doesn't matter anymore, it can lead to quarreling.

Let's say for the sake of argument, you would want to bring love to logical thinking. If you see a hole in front of you, for the sake of love, would you walk straight into it? That would probably explain why love is blind if you do. However, what if you chose not to walk into the hole in front of you, would you then say - oh I like you, it is because I like you, I can't be with you... If you feel this way, you may save yourself a whole lot of heartache.

The point is, the more intense our emotional state, the more difficult for us to see clearly. We have to make conscious effort to keep emotion out of argument. Though we can never be totally successful at this, we need to bear in mind that if emotions take the upper hand, clear thinking will be impossible.

Outer beauty VS Inner beauty

When I was in my 20s, I would think - heart matters most (still is by the way) but I underestimated the importance the world has placed outer beauty in our daily lives... the corporate world understood it and took full advantage of that to form a multi-billion dollar industry on cosmetic, fashion, etc... they would use models to dictate what beauty should be... and we unknowingly pressure ourselves to conform. So they would constantly make money through our insecurities... because we would question our looks, our body... etc... basically, as long as we are not happy the way we look... they will make money...

I then decided to put myself to the test, I started going to the gym... took that extra effort to look good and in three months, I was out there at clubs and boy what a difference it has made. People started to notice... not that I was hot or anything... but the point I am making, we are living in a shallow world.

I met my first love (actually my only love) in my early 30s (yes I was a late bloomer), that was after I started to look good haha... So the question was, if I had not been looking good, would I have that chance at love?

The truth of the matter is - looks are important but the heart should always be the deciding factor.

Wait ciggie break... :P

Friends VS Lovers

I feel that somehow friendship tend to be more successful than relationship. We do not need many friends in life but it is important to know who are your friends. Having said that, it is tricky when friends become lovers and lovers become friends... Can it done? I see many successful examples and you know who you are... : )

Gossips VS the Truth

Gossips is the oldest and most common means of sharing unproven facts and views on personal lives of others that I never really care much about... Though people are entitled to talk and to their opinions but sometimes, people should be more responsible on what rumors they are spreading because it can badly affect the outcome of a situation. Like the saying goes, what goes in one ear, out in many mouths... I learn that lesson the hard way...